My True story of Vegas
Things you could do in
Vegas (But I wouldn't
recommend it)
1. Travel in a van
plastered with pictures of
Bay Area Hyphy rappers
(even though you're a rock
band)....lol!
2. Fill said van with a
bunch of White musicians
3. Get stared at by
everyone as the White rock
musicians come out the
hyphy van
4. Fall in love with an
Israeli girl for exactly 1
hour
5. Before settling into
the hotel room, lock both
your room keys in the
room
6. Come out the bathroom
thinking you're on your
way home to the Bay Area
only to find out you're in
fucksville, Utah!
7. Spend the next 19
hours driving around a
godamn mountain so you can
go home
8. Drive up a snowy
mountain range with 1
quarter tank of gas
without knowing if you're
ever gonna make it down
the mountain (and try not
to cry)
9. Despite being close to
dying on a snowy mountain,
take a minute to look at
the pretty stars (and piss
on the fucking map that
got you lost in the first
place).
10. Rock a show in front
of hundreds of people
11. Go down a desolate
highway, no cell phone
reception, no gas stations
within 300 miles...see 2
cars in 4 hours (and pray
to fucking God you don't
breakdown!)
12. Slap the ass of at
least 1 hot girl in a
mini-skirt
13. Make sure she sits on
your lap on the way back
to the hotel
14. party like a rock star
VIP at the Palms
overlooking the entire
city of Las Vegas
15. Get into one argument
with a 400lb Somoan dude
16. Frighten a Quaker
17. Get exactly 4 hours of
sleep for every 48 hours
you're awake
18. Dodge projectile
vomiting right in front of
a police officer
19. Accidentaly blow weed
in the cops face as you
open the car door
20. Deny, deny,
deny....then admit
21. Get props and a pound
by the hot female cop
22. Laugh about it all
23. Get ready to do it all
over again in 14 days
American art is dead.
Real artists still exist,
but as soon as anyone
finds out about them...it
becomes a movement.
and all movements will be
eventually used to sell
cars. (see Rock 'n roll,
hip-hop, neo-impressionism
and any other thing that
began as an anti-status
quo art form).
In the 60's, people use
to think they could fight
against this, but they
soon realized they
couldn't. To defeat the
corporations is to defeat
capatalism itself and that
is like trying to take
down God. In fact, that
would be taking down OUR
god.
I have never made real
art. Good music, sure,
but art is something
totally different. Real
art moves cultures
forward. Maybe I never
will, but I still have
hope that I will.
art is expression and last
time I checked, emotions
were free. Very soon, I
will choose to die
(metaphorically speaking)
along with the rest of the
art in this country.
If I ever make another
record, I will form a band
or maybe just change my
name. I will make real
art and I will give it
away for free. People
will be able to donate if
they see fit. It will
never be used to give you
subconscious signals that
"A Mercedez will change
your life and help you
abolish world poverty".
No, a Chevy will not
defeat Radical
Islamo-fasism.
Or maybe I'll just quit.
until then, like a
bachelor the night before
his wedding, I'll be
living it up. Mourning my
pop death by living a pop
life (see Prince). That
means you might see my
picture on a verizon ad or
you might hear my music in
a Chevy commercial. Don't
judge me. I am a walking
contradiction just like
the good 'ol US of A. We
are all hypocrites. Only
difference is, I know I am
one....oh and I've got a
deadline.
You will know that I've
made the final
transformation from pop
seeker to artist when you
cease to hear of me or
from me again. And don't
be sad, its probably not
that I've quit making
music. If you do happen
to hear about
me....congratulations, you
are officially cool (see
anyone who doesn't own a
myspace page).
me and my guitar...
I touch the notes on the
strings like an adolescent
gently touches the soft
skin of a woman whose
known many lovers. I am
unsure and overly gentle.
She encourages me with
understanding and
femininity and tells me
when I do it right. I
misstep and fumble about,
but she never makes me
feel inferior. She tells
me to keep going, so I
continue to touch her
supple breasts and kiss
her pillowy lips. They
envelope me in softness
and understanding.
Eventually the notes begin
to seep out; at first very
softly, but gradually they
ring out more clear. I
lose myself in her melody
and she begins to make
sounds unlike anything
I've ever heard before.
In my arousal I become
hard and stiff as a board.
She caresses my stiffness
and causes me to create
strange melodies.....notes
that ring out louder than
a thousand trumpets.
Eventually we both let go
and create note after note
of gorgeous melody. I
stroke her without thought
or intention and it makes
her cum. She rewards me
by moaning the most
beautiful and unexpected
notes I've ever heard. We
become exhausted. It is
too much. I have to rest.
But, five minutes later I
am ready to do it all over
again. We don't eat or
sleep or talk, we just
make music over and over
again. We shut out the
world and cum until we
have nothing left to give.
We softly kiss each other
and make a vow to do it
all over again. With love
and understanding, we
embark on the same journey
time after time. And
every time we do it, it
feels brand new. That is
love
